A weekend of fun and frolics | Sex Vs Spooning

The weekend in now approaching and well let's just say there is a very eventful weekend ahead! Circo Loco on friday at Leg Ends (Legends in Newcastle) along with BBQing all day sunday (the good cook I am who did A level food yet can't bake a cake), Block Party and Greg Wilson at The Cut on Sunday. Have to say this will be a weekend to look forward to! In my grand old age this will no doubt start off with the routinely Friday night drink at The Forth. Every time we seem to go out last year I got a repuation of chundering in a cup on the odd occassion, to be honest it just seemed more convenient at the time instead of standing in a que at DB Social which hadn't moved for 10 minutes. However being the lady like person I am, I ran down the stairs with Kent and Rach behind me and did it in private, so not all was bad. I was then getting humped from behind by the two, really though that it all you need when spewing your guts up in a cup you just took a shot from. Lady like I know! To this day I still can't do vodka. LIES. I blame vodka shots and nothing else, as really I like to think of myself as innocent and sensible as possible. Ok even I don't convince myself these days. In fairness I think I did well that night, from a night that orignally going to be shit and was going to stay for "one" turned into dancing on tables, looking for 10's, making a tit out of myself (as per) and singing the words to Teenage Dream over every song. We should have known it was going to be a good night when we started the night off with Katy Perry. And the Katy Perry obsession at Warton Terrace continues. I did well that night in comparrison to a certain person's 21st that happened a few weeks ago... I say no more. Miss Cooper.


A few hours ago I was walking through the woods, (after driving erratically down country roads) and out of all the stupid stuff I say I think this was probably one of my stupidest, even after the whole are unicorns real episode and do gypsies have to take driving tests query. Anyway so there I was standing in the middle of the woods on a bridge looking down at the water and the very words of "Do you ever think that when you're watching the news that, wildlife aren't" came out my mouth. I'm not going to lie, I honestly do worry myself sometimes. I often don't think before I speak to realise how stupid I sometimes sound. You'd think I'd be embarrassed by this however if I'm honest I'm really not. I love saying stupid things, it makes me laugh and gets people easily out of bad moods... By my own stupidity. Dear me.


Not so long ago I heard the exact words "I can't believe you spooned on the first night. That is way worse than sex" and you know what I think I generally agree! Like I explained over my daily phone call to Miss Nanda you think more when you spoon. Then again this came from a male friend (who will stay unnamed) who said "We don't pick who we fall in love with, and it never happens the way it's suppose to" at this point I then said "You really need to stop watching rom coms." When you're unhappy rom coms are definitely not the way forward! This is where I turn all serious and throughout my day as I seem to be coming up with quotes right left and centre that actually make 100% sense about life (swear it's all down to the people I follow on Twitter,) there is a way forward for everyone and the people who dismiss you are only pointing you in the right direction, even if it isn't the easiest route, it's the right route. I like to think of myself as quite a mature person and I often get asked the question "How are you so wise at this age?" .. The truth it, I don't actually know. But by the sounds of my ridiculous questions I'm not always that wise. Guess it's because I'm a natural blonde. One thing I defintely have learnt is someone in life will definitely hurt you, but it's up to you to decide who is worth it, and who isn't. And to be fair, the LARGE majority aren't.

18 going on 80

Well, where to start. For  5 days now I have had numerous messages of "why did you delete me on Facebook? what did I do?" well as a matter of fact, no none of you did anything wrong Facebookers, I just realised that what a waste of time it is. I'm just really not bothered one bit if your having a "voddy and coke," getting buckled this weekend, on your way to work, loving the sunshine or going to Whitley with ya lasses. I suddenly lost interest in wondering what the large majority of you were doing. I already had Twitter with a small amount of followers and the people I follow so the people that I actually want to hear about on there or in my phone book. When I finished work the other day I was on the phone to one of my brothers who actually called me "sad" for deleting Facebook. I'm sorry if I don't come home each day from work or sit on my phone all day stalking people on Facebook and updating my status every second of the day telling you what I'm doing. Around Christmas I realised how many phrases and words I hate, I decided to share these with the two brothers one day who now find it hilarious to put these words into each sentence. It does amuse me but sometimes it just puts me in a massive bad mood if I'm already in a mood. I would really love to mention a few however would most certainly give away who these "phrases/words" belong to. Also I realised how serious Facebook had got, one day when me Kent and Rach were having a heart to heart (many days) and the words mentioned by Kent herself when I said I was going to get rid of Facebook were "No Helen, he can't take your Facebook from you. That is yours" I suddenly stopped in my tracks for a second to think about her words. I then started to crease at the how serious we were talking about Facebook. Has Facebook really gotten this serious? This happened a good couple of months ago to a point we still laugh at "the seriousness of Facebook" now. I also realised how serious Facebook has got after talking to Rachel about why I deleted my Facebook and she said that she "admired" me for doing it. Wow Rachel.

Over the past few weeks I have decided that I am just a fat person in little person's body. My first blog wouldn't be complete if I didn't mention food. I remember when I use to be known at work for talking about food. When I use to do the lovely (more like mind numbing) little 4 hours shifts on a Thursday night in Debenhams I use to go in at 4.10 and talk about how I was going to get a Bigmac large meal on my way home right until 8.10 when I finished. I did this for about 4 months each week, and unfortunately this is not even an exaggeration. A couple of weeks ago when the parents were away for a week, living practically alone was boring enough that I spent each day pottering around people's houses in Heaton drinking cups of tea, sharing Creme eggs with people, getting mortal at Hyem's pub quiz which wasn't even on and nearly getting arrest in SPA for laughing hysterically (3 pigs in the back of a taxi).. each day I use to venture to Tescos wondering what I was going to have for dinner. Every other day I use to buy myself a Tesco's Finest Triple chocolate cake which was gone in a day and a half. I drank numerous of cups of tea and ate a large amount of cake. I have acquired a bit of an obsession with cake really. I love all cakes especially carrot cake and chocolate cakes. When I mentioned to Richard about my blog he said "I bet you are just going to talk about what food you eat each day." I can't help that I love food this much. I should weigh about 10 stone by now. However I'm not 100% keen on Pizzahut texting me most days with their offers, to a point I had to message them back saying STOP. One Tuesday they messaged me in the morning, lunch time and tea time. No wonder people get obese if Pizzahut are doing this. But really if you're fat it's your own fault, I have no sympathy for these people who complain about their weight and still eat like a horse and they say that they don't know what the problem is... There's your problem! 

This week after helping people through tough times, my flat mate to be Leena decided to have a joke with me that when we were house hunting this week that I would not be looking at the houses but the sofas that were in it, to lie my patients on. She half expects to come in from work as of September to find people lying on the sofa and me sitting there asking them "and how does this make you feel?" .. One day I think I might go the whole way and put up a plack at the door with my name on it. Dear me Leena what have you got yourself into for 12 months?

Also recently I realised what makes me happy in life, it's not going out and getting a mess each weekend (as I try my best to limit doing that) but doing good deeds (as well as listening to old music and Katy Perry!) This week for being a good friend that I try to be to people I have recieved a thank you card, a bottle of wine and Pirates of The Caribbean box set. This made me happiest I've been in a long long while! It then dawned on me that I'm going into Nursing in a matter on months and imagine all the good deeds I'll do then. I literally cannot wait to leave retail forever. I moved from working on Childrens wear/Home to Phase Eight. So I switched from crying children at 9am on a hungover Saturday morning to customers who seem to have gob stoppers wedged in their mouth. At least it's safe to say I won't be there forever.

People say due to my recent rants about Facebook, drinking numerous cups of tea a day, coming home early and drinking sensibly on a weekend (occassionally does happen), enjoying having civilised meals and drinks, getting excited over cleaning, getting excited over new pillows and pillow cases as well as listening to 80's groove that I am "18 going on 80." I can't help my ways. I realise that I was not brought up like this as I use to be the one saying to my mum when she use to buy me short skirts when I was younger "I'm not wearing that!" .. I guess it must be in my nature to be an old woman sometimes. Suppose I'm happy with that!